Depression

A little extra info on that last post: I am prone to feeling very sad, very easily. Sometimes, for no reason at all I feel like everything is awful, and specifically like I am awful. So, something like an extremely terrible score on a test is enough to make me want to curl into a ball and cry. This seems to happen to me all the time. I'm over-emotional and I don't understan why, no matter how much confidence I build talking to Halley, or even through other things, I just feel like crying so much.


I don't know if any of this is clinical. It feels like that might be an exaggeration to think so. Maybe there's some kind of brain chemistry mistake that can be fixed. Or maybe I'm just messed up beyond repair. I don't know


And I hate to get into this cycle of bad. It's so hard to get out of it. First I feel bad about myself, so, okay, I act a bit sad, then, I feel bad about being so sad. I mean, shouldn't I be more grateful and happy all the time? I have someone so wonderful who cares about me. So, I feel guilty about that. Then, me feeling guilty seems to make Halley feel bad about not having been good enough to fix it. But it wasn't her fault in the first place, so then I've got to feel bad about that. And I have no idea how to fix the horrible cycle.


But then, i don't wann get caught too i this moment. I know there are beautiful cycles that are hard to break too. So, maybe soon I'll feel better