Natural and Unnatural Childbirth

The tone of every conversation in society is acceptance. We want to accept people who make different choices than we would personally, and, on the whole, that is a wonderful thing. It's good when discussing religion, good when discussing gender roles and sexual orientation, and good when discussing all manner of small personal choices, like how to dress, what job to do, and what to do in your free time. But it's not so good when we discuss birth.

You see, I want to dispel the myth that supporting natural childbirth is about suffering. My support of natural childbirth is not because the women who experienced it suffered for their children, and, in fact, I really wish all women could experience completely painless labor. Most natural childbirth advocates do. The want for natural childbirth stems from the desire for the health and comfort of the baby. Many unnatural birth supporters seem to believe that birth is some sort of contest for women, and I've heard it compared to something with a scoring system with points awarded based on how natural it was or how bad it hurt.  This is not true.

I support natural birth because I believe that a baby has the right to come into this world in the most comfortable, healthy way possible. I don't support it because I think women should suffer for their children.

It's Only Natural- guest post by halley

I'm generally skeptical about things, but some things I actually don't think too much about. I am truly a hippie at heart. I generally think that all things natural are good, if it's a decision that has specific consequences, well, then I make sure. Parenting is one of the ones that I've thought a lot about, but not too much away from my instincts. It makes sense that a natural way of parenting would be good because if it were bad, we may have all died by now. Like if circumcision was really necessary for good health, we would have died out.

I don't know much about the studies involving sleep training or formula feeding. Brittany tries to educate me about how much better breast milk is, but it only seems to go as far that the artificial way causes harm in my brain. I've always thought that setting your baby down would lead to it getting eaten by a saber toothed tiger. Realistically, I'm pretty sure that if my baby is away from me, it will get hurt. I've always hated the idea of putting a baby in a crib. When I heard that cosleeping was dangerous because your baby might suffocate, I was still going to do it because the risk seems less, I now know it to be true that your baby is safer with you then alone, even during sleep.

If there is no logical reason to mess with something natural, then I don't think it's a good idea to do it. As it turns out, many of our "improvements" on the natural way of doing things are downright dangerous to our babies. I don't need to know exactly how bad something is to know that something with no bad things about it is better. The idea that letting a baby cry without doing anything isn't the most awful thing you could do to it feels so wrong. If I was crying, I'd want the person who loved me to help me and if she didn't I wouldn't feel loved. Why on earth would a baby be different?

We ought to instinctively know how to parent because every other species on the planet knows how to parent. No other primate puts it's young in a place away from it, no other primate rips apart it's babies genitals, no other primate cuts the umbilical cord immediately, no other primate has it's young laying on it's back with it's legs up. There is a reason for these things, they just don't feel right, they aren't right and our hormones, subconscious, and thousands of years of genetic programming tell us so.

Don't get the wrong idea, trusting instincts blindly is a bad idea, make sure that doctors haven't came up with something better and everything, but in general, natural is best. Medicine is an exception, vaccines, emergency c-sections. Don't be ignorant of your options by any means, but if something is claiming to be better than the natural way, don't just assume that science must be better. Do look at the evidence, but let your instincts guide you when there is lack of evidence. Putting your baby to your breast is the most instinctive act of motherhood, why would you give your baby anything but what was designed just for it?

Peaceful Parenting And Atheism

I obviously believe in parenting kids with love and attachment and affection. I also definitely don't believe in any gods, and to me, it seems as if peaceful parenting comes as a natural affect of atheism and skepticism in general.


Allow me to explain. If I start with no gods, that means I have no "divinely inspired" books to tell me how to parent. I have to rely on what I can see in the real world. So, when I wonder how the best way to take care of children is, My obvious first thought is that I should be nice to them. I would think that the more they can feel loved and safe, the better things would go for them. Then I wonder what possible exceptions there could be to the simplicity of always giving my kids what they want and need.


Well, if we can't afford a material object, I could have to deny them that. So, I'd explain how we couldn't afford something like that and that we would save up our money for it. If my child wanted to do something dangerous, it is only logical that I would stop them, and explain how it would hurt them, and why they shouldn't do it, as well as physically preventing them from doing the action in the future. If they aren't yet of a mind to understand, simply the physical prevention should suffice. 


The most powerful convincing tool for peaceful parenting is the question "why?" And when you start with the given of loving your child and caring for his/her/xyr well-being, the following things come up.

There's a good answer for why to hold your child. Being held makes the baby feel secure and releases hormones that encourage bonding. 


There's a good answer for why to breastfeed. It's the normal, natural way, and the wonderful things in it cannot be replicated by formula. 


There's not a good answer for the things that fall into the baby training school of parenting. Whether studies say they are harmful or not, why do them in the first place?


Why hit your child? why hit him or her gently? why on his/her/xyr bottom? you shouldn't. There's no reason to assume it's beneficial, and even if it's completely devoid of psychological harm, there is at least physical harm at that moment, and no reason to assume "oh, I should hit my child".


Why amputate a part of your child's penis? again, regardless of if there are no psychological effects, it's a simple violation of human consent to remove any part of your child that can never be replaced.


I could go on and on, giving examples of both, but I'll stop there and simply say that there's a connection between having a logical mind and avoiding behaviors that aren't clearly loving. This silly ideal of tough love is born out of a parental selfishness, as well as biblical and religious support of spanking. Skeptics and atheists should, by all logic, be more a part of the attachment parenting world. Our children want and need us, and it only makes sense we should give them the comforting, safe atmosphere, both physically and psychologically.

What About the Violence?

From what I can tell, most peaceful parents are against all violence in life. So am I. But, as I've mentioned, Joey and I play a lot of video games. And, from what I can see, people in the peaceful parenting sphere would die if their children played games like these. I can't really understand why. I feel it's perfectly safe, acceptable, and even helpful to play games with a bit of violence.

Sure, people say exposing kids to violence normalizes it. You know what? I agree, and violence is normal. It's something that happens every day on this planet. Someone is killed, robbed, beaten, or raped every day, at the very least. That's not okay. And I don't think exposing kids to a violent T.V. show or video game okays violence. I think it's the surrounding parents and caregivers that make the violence okay or not. If you use video games as a babysitter, instead of talking and playing, or express approval for everything the character does, then yeah, your kids might think violence is okay. But the strongest tool you have for child raising is communication. I discuss with Joey what he's seeing. I've told him "I know you have fun playing with the game and killing the enemies with your sword, but in real life, violence is not okay" many different times in many different words. And guess what? Joey isn't a violent child. He's peacable, easygoing, even, and I've never seen him hit another person.

And violence in games, I think, can help diffuse violence in real life.  I know that when I feel angry and want to hurt someone, I feel a whole lot better when I can vent the frustration into killing things that are just pixels on a screen. I think it can be a useful tool in preventing violence, rather than an enabler of violence. And, whether you choose to allow your children to play violent games or not, you can relax about what they see. Children can know right from wrong and they don't think everything they see a lot is okay. Ask a child of a non-peaceful parent about spanking. I can almost guaruntee you they will say that this thing they see everyday, as normal, is wrong.

Breastfeeding

Yeah, it's time to talk about breastfeeding, one of my obsessions. It's very important to breastfeed. Many people don't realize how big of a difference it makes to breastfeed your baby, but research shows that not breastfeeding can cause an increased risk of ear infections, diarrhea, upper respiratory infections, and even childhood cancer. Those are just a few. Don't take my word for it; have a look
http://www.llli.org/docs/Outcomes_of_breastfeeding_June_2007.pdf
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17764214/
http://cat.inist.fr/?aModele=afficheN&cpsidt=14660645

You can check those facts and look for sources, but what it all boils down to is that formula is dangerous for babies. Please, don't put your babies at risk for these kinds of things. If you love your baby, breastfeed, and if it's not working right, do a little research, or hire a lactation consultant, hey, you might meet me, since that is my desired plan in life.

You may wonder why I'm saying that formula is dangerous instead of that breastmilk is helpful. Well,there's a good reason: breastfeeding is natural, it's normal, and it's expected out of every mother. So, the natural state of things is the immunities in breastmilk, while the lacktherof, is subnormal, inadequate and dangerous. I'm sure there will be more installments on breastfeeding to come soon, but for now, everyone, please think about it, if you ever intend to have children

Introduction

Hi! My name is Brittany. I am 17 years old, and can describe myself in a lot of ways. I am as liberal as they come. I am a screaming advocate for peaceful, natural parenting, and a proud sister to 6 year old Joey. I try to care for him in the ways I would care for my own children, but sometimes his parents get in my way. It's hard to practice peaceful parenting with a child that isn't yours. haha. I am also a lesbian, and proud of it. I'm in love with My beautiful, precious girl, Halley. I am proud to be with her and love her so much. I'm kinky; Naturally submissive, but usually playing the dominant role, because Halley loves it so much. I'm a girly sort of girl. I love dresses and sparkles and pink and rainbows. I am an atheist, and consider religion frankly dangerous, therefore hate it. I do not hate religious people, though. I love some of them a lot and hope to "show them the light" so to speak. I am a total child at heart. I love dolls and kids' shows. Especially Moose and Zee on noggin. I have one new, special doll. She's 18 inches and her name is Lellianna. I love to play with her and be a mommy. Speaking of which, I am the type to want to be a stay at home mommy. I want to take care of my babies and cook and clean for my wife. I don't feel anyone should be forced to do what makes them unhappy. I feel I should have every right to work any place that offers jobs to people, but that I should have the right to opt out. I am a gamer and a let's player. I love the classic series like Zelda, Mario, and Final Fantasy. I also love Kingdom Hearts and have played quite a few other games. Shooters are not my thing and I am not even interested enough to pick up a controller for them. As for let's plays, Joey and I have started a let's play of majora's mask. If you want to find it, the channel is SissyandJoeyLP. Anyway, guys, I don't think I've left any of the main things I wanted to cover out of this, so I'm done!