I am naturally shy. Very, very shy, in fact. And last night, I bought a vibrator at walmart. It was hard for me to get over the potential embarrassment. But thinking of what this means about my causes is helpful to me. See, I care a lot about the things I believe in. I am the sort of person who cannot just ignore a principle for practicality unless there are some very, very serious consequences. So, when I wanted to buy a sex toy, all I had to do to stop being nervous was breathe and say to myself "I am a sex-positive feminist. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of. I am a sex-positive feminist" and repeat. Then, I was able to smile at the lady behind the cash register and buy it.
There seems to be this idea in the media that sex isn't a part of a person, that if you have sex, or even enjoy masturbation, you're somehow not a person with idiosyncracies other than sexual, or else that your sexual self is entirely seperate from the rest of you. It's not. Everyone can just relax about sex because it's a part of you, maybe a smaller part, maybe a bigger one, but no matter what, you don't become not you anymore when you're feeling sexual or when you have sex or whatever. These are all on the level of your other characteristics.
Take me for example, I love some wonderful oral sex, I masturbate in the middle of the night, and sometimes in public bathrooms to calm myself down. I also love to play harvest moon and zelda and like children's songs and phantom of the opera. These are all parts of me. Maybe they're not exceedingly relevant at certain times, but they're all, always a part of me.
I'm having a little trouble trying to figure out exactly what I'm trying to say. I guess what I mean is that you shouldn't feel like sex dehumanizes you. It's not like that. It's just one more part of the beautiful picture that is you.
No comments:
Post a Comment