I was pissed off. I was royally, red in the face angry, and ready to tear someone down because I haven't gotten my psychology text book yet. I orderecd it Thursday on overnight shipping and it is scheduled to be here Monday for some inexplicable reason.
So, I called the bookstore from my college and said in an angry voice "Hi. I'm calling about an order I placed on overnight that's not even going to be here until I get there". Then some guy who sounded not much older than me said "oh!" kind of surprised "I'm sorry." and asked nicely for the details. I told him and he said "well, I'm not supposed to deal with the online orders, but I'll see how I can help you out." he seemed genuinely saddened by the fact that I had a problem and all the wind was immediately removed from my angry sails. He proceeeded to help by asking a manager for special permission for me to pick up a different copy of the book on monday and return my own whenever it should get here. The manager agreed and I tried to change the shipping on the order for the books, but that didn't work because of a stupid UPS issue.
So I called the bookstore again, and they told me that it would probably be easier to place another order for instore pickup, but said he would assure that any issues were worked out with UPS if I'd rather have him do that. In short, I called in a rage and then people were concerned for another person's welfare, and I hung up warmed from the inside about the nature of human beings. It's simple tiny things like this that make all the difference
Showing posts with label Happy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happy. Show all posts
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Conflict Resolution
I felt sad. We made mistakes. And we talked them out. That's not to say that there weren't bumps along the way. That's not to say we didn't have a kind of difficult time with it. I was hurting. I made some mistakes. Calling it unable to be made up for to xyr.
But Halley and I? We don't just break up over something so silly. It was a mistake for her, what instigated it, and we've established the underlying reasons for the desire. I made a mistake, that was to tell xyr it was such a big deal. The point is, we talked it out. Unwillingness and pain aside, we made it through discussing it and we made each other feel better.
This is what makes or breaks a relationship. The way these situations get handled. And we handle them beautifully. The love we have is why we're here. It's why we want to be close and in contact. The love we have makes all of the bad times worth it, but the way we react and feel about each other when things hurt is what ensures we stay together in the moment. We always love each other. No matter what happens, I know I will always be loved and that I will always love my halley
But Halley and I? We don't just break up over something so silly. It was a mistake for her, what instigated it, and we've established the underlying reasons for the desire. I made a mistake, that was to tell xyr it was such a big deal. The point is, we talked it out. Unwillingness and pain aside, we made it through discussing it and we made each other feel better.
This is what makes or breaks a relationship. The way these situations get handled. And we handle them beautifully. The love we have is why we're here. It's why we want to be close and in contact. The love we have makes all of the bad times worth it, but the way we react and feel about each other when things hurt is what ensures we stay together in the moment. We always love each other. No matter what happens, I know I will always be loved and that I will always love my halley
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
My Unease About Abuse
I have all of these issues that pop up when I hear about abuse, especially emotional abuse. I get worried really easily that I'm somehow being an abuser accidentally. I suppose I'm worried that I'm so needy and prone to being upset that I'm making the relationship all about myself. I get worried any time someone contrasts it with a more abusive relationship, because I'm afraid it's downplaying and rationalization. I love my halley so much that I start to feel like every little move is important, and I worry about her. Now, don't get me wrong. This irrationality is not because of my love, rather, my love combined with my general sense of low self esteem. This problem is hard to shake, but I'm getting better.
You see, I can look at all of the wonderful times we have together, and I can see that we giggle and play and be together. We talk about everything, we trust each other, and I can see how safe I make xyr feel. We know each other, on big issues and small, and we get along on so many levels. We We give affection and we always try to be so good to each other. And, of course, we have mindblowing kinky sex, with huge focus on the most important thing: consent.
And when we do have problems? well, we talk them out. Sometimes, I'm a little reluctant at first, but, again, I'm not perfect and I'm working on this. I'm doing really well, I might add. We communicate. We tell each other how we feel, as openly and honestly as we know how. We usually fill in the form of "I am feeling _______ because __________________________________" and it works. We feel better soon. And, on top of that, most, if not all, of our issues stem from the desire to be good to each other and feeling of failing, or a simple miscommunication (almost always my fault, by the way. [but that doesn't mean I'm bad, or ruining the relaitonship] Halley takes things literally, and I mess with them by adding the connotations of words and silly things.) Problem resolution happens quickly, if I don't lose my head, and then it's back to snuggles and kisses and discussions of the state of the world and how to help the underpriveleged (We have a project coming up!! I'm excited, but more on that later!) and hugs and namics and games and sex and argumentation and writing our blogs together.
So, I guess what I mean to say is that, despite all of this, sometimes, I get scared in the deepest corner of my mind that I'm an accidental abuser. Lately, though, I've been able to get into that corner and show my mind the above mention of how my relationship works. And, however prone I am to feeling uneasy, I know with the most logical parts of me that my relationship with halley is healthy.
You see, I can look at all of the wonderful times we have together, and I can see that we giggle and play and be together. We talk about everything, we trust each other, and I can see how safe I make xyr feel. We know each other, on big issues and small, and we get along on so many levels. We We give affection and we always try to be so good to each other. And, of course, we have mindblowing kinky sex, with huge focus on the most important thing: consent.
And when we do have problems? well, we talk them out. Sometimes, I'm a little reluctant at first, but, again, I'm not perfect and I'm working on this. I'm doing really well, I might add. We communicate. We tell each other how we feel, as openly and honestly as we know how. We usually fill in the form of "I am feeling _______ because __________________________________" and it works. We feel better soon. And, on top of that, most, if not all, of our issues stem from the desire to be good to each other and feeling of failing, or a simple miscommunication (almost always my fault, by the way. [but that doesn't mean I'm bad, or ruining the relaitonship] Halley takes things literally, and I mess with them by adding the connotations of words and silly things.) Problem resolution happens quickly, if I don't lose my head, and then it's back to snuggles and kisses and discussions of the state of the world and how to help the underpriveleged (We have a project coming up!! I'm excited, but more on that later!) and hugs and namics and games and sex and argumentation and writing our blogs together.
So, I guess what I mean to say is that, despite all of this, sometimes, I get scared in the deepest corner of my mind that I'm an accidental abuser. Lately, though, I've been able to get into that corner and show my mind the above mention of how my relationship works. And, however prone I am to feeling uneasy, I know with the most logical parts of me that my relationship with halley is healthy.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
An Amazing Moment
Tuesday, we took Joey to the aquarium. He's been talking a lot about sharks lately, and was very excited when told the possibility of seeing a real, live shark existed. And he loved it, he had fun, and it was awesome. At this particular aquarium, they have a tank full of gentle pajama sharks that they let you pet. Joey loved this and so did I, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.
I'm here to talk about a little boy who reached his whole arm in the water. A person I'm guessing is his dad was holding him up, and he couldn't have been more than two. He had blonde hair and blue eyes, and was tiny. I smiled at him, and as I watched a shark go by, he touched it. Then, this amazing look of unadulterated joy came across his face. It was the kind of look that doesn't happen much. I don't know that child. I don't know what he will grow up to be. I don't know whether he will believe in a god, whether he will fall in love, get married, have babies and treat them right. I don't know whether he will be president. I don't know what his parents believe, how they treat him, if they circumcised him. But in essence, through that moment, I know this child. I participated in a moment in his life that everyone ought to have a few more of, and it was beautiful.
Things like this moment make me aware of just how wonderful the world really is, and, when it seems so awful, I can just think of this little boy, all his dreams seeming fulfilled because he got to pet a shark.
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