Little Pink Book 2

Dad

My daughter is hard to look through. I don't love her; God knows I wouldn't after what she did, but her face, her face loos like that of the daughter I used to have. Do I know I'm right in doing this? Yeah. Do I understand that my baby is gone? Yes. Do I want her back, the way she was before? of course. Is it hard to remember that she's not my little girl anymore? Hell yes. My dad, he'd have beaten me senseless if I'd done what she has. He bounced my head off counters for lesser things, but I wouldn't have hurt my little girl like that. I guess maybe my dad did it right... Look how I turned out, and look how she did. But it's too late for her now. I look at her and wonder how she could do this too me when I've been so good to her. I worked so hard, I never hurt her, and when she tole me how awful she was, I hit the wall instead. She's lucky, I guess, maybe unlucky, living her life in a quest for "acceptance". A good beating is what she needs, but at 18, away at college, it's a lot of effort and a lot of legal trouble to assault a college student. Not to mention a "hate crime". As opposed to those crimes motivated by love. 

Damn whiny liberals.

Little Pink Book 1

Prologue

Sometimes, I miss you already. Sometimes, daddy, I cry for you. I cry because you're not going to love me, because you look right through me, because I'll never hear you speak to me again, because the look on your face in the pictures when I was born said I was the greatest thing- and now it's gone, because it was that easy for you to drop your only daughter. Because I've loved you my entire life, and I don't know how not to. And, Dad, sometimes, I can't wait to be completely rid of you, you racist, sexist, and most importantly homophobic douchebag. Sometimes, I'm just pissed off. I'm 18 and I can understand that things that are wrong actually hurt people. And you can't figure that out in 38 years? 

Fuck you.

Little Pink Book Intro

Okay, so a little while back while stuff was still pretty damn bad with my parents and all of that, I started writing in a little pink notebook. I wrote how I felt and I tried to place myself in the shoes of my mom, my dad, and my brother. I don't know how well it worked, but I made short, easy little entries pretty often. It was set somewhere a little more than a year in the future, and it really helped me humanize my parents when it seemed they were nothing more than obstacles to my happiness.

 I thought it'd make a nice little series of blog posts, so, I asked My halley about it, and xe said it could be a good idea. (I'm always very indecisive, so I wasn't sure how readable it would be. So, Anyway, now and again, I'll do an entry titled "Little Pink Book" and then a number, with the same graphic pictured above, and that'll be another piece of the book that is my take on how everyone feels.